Forest steals Zhil's fleet

Originally posted onto the Pa-Forums here.

Some people have speculated on why 1up's average score is not as high as they expected. Some have even posited that maybe it's down to a lack of quality in some of our members.
The following irc log may go some way toward offering an explanation.
The log is from a 1up channel used by our Military Officers and HCs. It has been edited slightly to remove coordinates and material irrelevant to the main content - but is otherwise unchanged.
When it happened it had all of our command staff (except one) in stitches. Enjoy. - Synthetic_Sid

"First I started off in a half decent galaxy but exil HC decided to roid me and exile me, so there I was in a dead gal, all orange with under 100 roids.
I decided to farm attackers ships on the gal, to teach em a lesson for bashing. - Forest

All was going great.

One day in a 1up room...

<[MO]Forest> Report of Ships Stolen by the ello fighting at xxx:x:x
<[MO]Forest> Ship Stolen
<[MO]Forest> Cutlass 61
<[MO]Forest> Privateer 52
<[MO]Forest> \0/
<Davidsr> u the man

One hour later...

<Zhil> I seem to have lost my fleet
<Zhil> oh poo
<[MO]Forest> left it in tescos?
<TheRat> lol
<Zhil> it got stolen
<Zhil> how poo
<Tis> thats what happens when you forget to login for a week
<Tis> :/
<Zhil> some zik dude stole my fleet
<Zhil> I was attacking some random newb
<Zhil> how the hell did he get defense
<Tis> hahahaa
<Tis> i bet forest
<Zhil> fs
<[MO]Forest> lol
<Tis> \o/
<[MO]Forest> was u attacking my gal?
<Zhil> I...dont...know
<Tis> it seems
<[MO]Forest> who was u attacking?
<Tis> probable
<Zhil> xxx:x it seems
<Zhil> but Im pretty sure those werent the coords originally
<Zhil> lol
<[MO]Forest> lmfao
<Zhil> Forest stole my fleet
<[MO]Forest> he was in xx:xx:xx first
<Zhil> ROFL
<[MO]Forest> i defended him then exiled him,
<[MO]Forest> hahahaha
<Zhil> YOU STOLE MY FLEET
<[MO]pig> lol
<Tis> ROFL
<[MO]Forest> and a nice fleet it is too ty :)
<[MO]pig> comedy gold
<Zhil> YOU
<Zhil> BASTARD
<Tis> hahahahah
<Zhil> !
<Tis> this is GREAT!
<Tis> 1up rocks
<Zhil> Youve had longer to build than me
<[MO]pig> i cant believe it
<Zhil> I want my fleet back
<[MO]Forest> zhil i put u on a 'must kill him for being a bashing twat' hitlist i have
<Tis> thank god ex arent porting this chan
<[MO]Forest> lmao
<[MO]Forest> OH SHIT
<Zhil> FFS
<Tis> haha
<Idler> hm
<[MO]Forest> they best not think i was farming!!
<Zhil> Im going to report you
<Tis> forest was planning a raid on you zhil
<Zhil> for farming
<Zhil> I will point out we are both 1up
<[MO]Forest> Combat
<[MO]Forest> Save 264 Report of Losses from the ello fighting at xxx:x:x
<[MO]Forest> Ship Arrived Lost
<[MO]Forest> Buccaneer 100 0
<[MO]Forest> Salvage report
<[MO]Forest> Metal Crystal Eonium
<[MO]Forest> 5,877 5,877 8,301
<[MO]Forest> Report of Ships Stolen by the ello fighting at xxx:x:x
<[MO]Forest> Ship Stolen
<[MO]Forest> Cutlass 61
<[MO]Forest> Privateer 52
<Zhil> my fleet :(
<Idler> Forest is the master of daring raids!
<Zhil> Report of Losses from the EXTERMINATE!!! fighting at xxx:x:x
<Zhil> Ship Arrived Lost
<Zhil> Cutlass 100 100
<Zhil> Privateer 100 100
<Tis> ohhhhhh... my stomach hurts
<Tis> too much laughing
<Tis> hahaha
<Idler> wtf like
<[MO]pig> loll
<Tis> this is funnier than storebo :/
<[MO]pig> im so sorry zhil
<Idler> this is the great 1up
<Idler> !
<Tis> no iderl
<Tis> this is the great ZHIL
<[MO]pig> this is ship farming
<Idler> heh
<Zhil> I was thinking "yum yum roids"
<Zhil> now
<Zhil> not only did I fail to get roids on both attacks bar pityful amounts
<Zhil> but
<Zhil> I lost my fleet also
<Tis> haha
<Zhil> and to add to my ridicule
<Zhil> it was STOLEN
<Tis> poooor zhil :(
<Zhil> and my planet is much younger than Forests
<Idler> kisses
<[MO]Forest> zhil, u should check arbitor b4 u land
<[MO]pig> u lost ure fleet to forest
<Zhil> I did check arbiter
<Zhil> :(
<[MO]Forest> lmfao
<Zhil> for my first target
<Zhil> :(
<Tis> omg
<Tis> too much
<Zhil> I thought
<Tis> just too much
<Zhil> No 1up could be this small
<Tis> lol
<Zhil> and in this shit a galaxy
<Zhil> so
<Zhil> I hit it

• Joins: Ronnie
  

<Idler> even I am bigger than that
<Zhil> and
<[MO]Forest> lol
<Zhil> it turns out
<[MO]pig> this is comedy gold
<Zhil> Forest
<Tis> *cries*
<Zhil> stole my fleet
<Tis> god
<TheRat> AND THAT MAKES YOU LARGER THAN LIFE
<[MO]Forest> zhil ive been so careful that no-one could accuse me of farming :/
<[MO]Forest> and u go and do that!
<Idler> TheRat in pwned shocker
<Zhil> who do I contact
<Zhil> in PATeam
<Tis> i wish we could post this on the quote board
<Tis> i really do :(
<Idler> oh wait
<Ronnie> Zhil, what happened to ur score?
<Ronnie> :\
<Idler> WAIT
<Zhil> Forest stole my fleet
<Zhil> thats what happened
<TheRat> erm
<Idler> I just understood what this is all about
<Zhil> he defended against me
<Zhil> the bastard
<Idler> hahahaahahaha
<TheRat> Zhil landed on forest's galm8 and lost all his ships?
<Zhil> no
<Tis> isnt that histerical idler?
<Zhil> I landed on a random noob
<Zhil> that Forest defended
<Tis> ive been laughing for 5 mniutes
<Tis> and cant stop
<Idler> I cant breathe
<[MO]pig> this is the funniest thing ever
<Tis> hehaha
<[MO]pig> i cant stop laughing
<TheRat> Zhil: Wtf? :/
<TheRat> Hahahahahahahaha
<TheRat> Forest > *
<Zhil> This is unfair
<Zhil> I want my ships back
<Idler> what are the odds
<Idler> really
<Zhil> There must be some HC authority
<Zhil> I can use
<Zhil> Forest
<Zhil> I order you to return my ships to me
<Tis> seriously
<TheRat> Seriously
<TheRat> haha
<Idler> I wonder tho
<TheRat> Thats just awesome
<Tis> laughign so hard im crying
<Idler> why was Forest defending a random newbie
<TheRat> Should we report them? :D
<Tis> idler
<[MO]Forest> Idler sid gave me permission to 3 fleet def my gal
<[MO]Forest> im not attacking
<[MO]Forest> atm
<Tis> hes ship stealing attackers on his noob galm8s
<Idler> that is your gal ?
<[MO]Forest> i ahve under 100 roids
<Zhil> you 3 fleeted
<Zhil> !
<Idler> oh
<Idler> win win win
<TheRat> To be honest, zhil violated our arbiter protection
<TheRat> He should be kicked/retaled
<Ronnie> hes too small
<Tis> is now anyway
<Tis> soooooo funny
<[MO]Forest> im really crying :@/
<Tis> i think i broke somethign :/
<Zhil> fs
<Zhil> now Im crippled
<Zhil> :(
<TheRat> You always were..
<Zhil> Forest was the one who told me to go Zik in the first place
<Zhil> I hate him now
<Zhil> to steal my fleet
<[MO]Forest> ie, u
<Synthetic_Sid> lol
<Zhil> where do I report ship farming
<Tis> read up sid
<Tis> funniest thing ever :)
<Tis> better than storebo
<Zhil> it was a third of my roiding power
<Zhil> :(
<Tis> better than steinmetz
<Zhil> what are you doing in such a sh*t gal fs
<Tis> stealing fleets off noobs like you
<Tis> honest truth :(
<Zhil> shut up :(
<Tis> seriously
<Tis> thats why hes there
<Tis> :/
<TheRat> :D
<Zhil> I order the immediate return of my property
<Zhil> No 1up member should steal from another
<[MO]Forest> no 1up should attcak a 1up gal without permission form hc
<Ronnie> Zhil is hc isnt he?
<Ronnie> :p
<Zhil> I am HC
<Zhil> I gave myself permission
<[MO]Forest> i meant a proper hc, not a hc who would suicide into his MO's fleet
<Ronnie> lol
<Zhil> I didnt suicide
<Zhil> your fleet
<Zhil> involved itself
<[MO]Forest> lol
<Zhil> tbh it should have been defending 1up
<[MO]Forest> i so wanna post this on pa forums, :p
<Zhil> not random noobs
<Zhil> lets question your defence pratices
<Synthetic_Sid> he's stealing newbies fleets so he has more ships to defend 1up with
<Synthetic_Sid> heard he just stole a zik newbie's fleet
<Zhil> :(
<[MO]Forest> lol
<[MO]pig> lol
<Ronnie> Sid in calling Zhil a newbie none shocker
<Ronnie> ;p
<Zhil> He stole my fleet :(
<Ronnie> y didnt u get a jgp?
<Zhil> I thought
<Synthetic_Sid> i suspect most of the lol's in this channel really do mean laughing out loud
<Tis> lol
<Zhil> "oh this newbie isnt going to get defence, lets not waste 1up scanners"
<Tis> very quite certainly
<Ronnie> lol
<Ronnie> its classic
<Ronnie> :p
<Tis> and i wasnt lying when i said i was litterally crying
<Ronnie> that quote thread
<Tis> my side hurts :/
<Ronnie> put it there!
<Ronnie> :(
<Synthetic_Sid> i can smell permission to post from MO channel onto PA forums coming up
<Zhil> no
<Ronnie> lol Sid
<Tis> WIN!!!!!!!
<Zhil> I disallow
<Tis> i veto zhils vote!
<Synthetic_Sid> maybe we should have a HC vote on it :)"